I have been considering doing this for a while, a
blog based on the idea of a public and often angry or annoyed diary entre, and
put it off because I either believed it would be pointless or even a sign of
weakness and inability to cope with the mental exercise that comes with being
disabled and thinking. Of course I have obviously decided to take part in this
phenomena known as blogging, perhaps because I am self-absorbed enough to think
other should or will read it or because it is just plain easier than writing a
poem...and involved less intoxicated bouts of insomnia. Despite this decision I
am sure about two or three posts in and I will run out of shit to say or find I
have turned this into my own personal temper tantrum time and decide to look
less like a pouting three year old by taking it down but until then I blather
on. I suppose I should get to the point eventually.
For those of you who haven’t read Shakespeare;
Caliban is a character in his play The
Tempest that is a slave of the protagonists Prospero and his daughter
Miranda while they are ship wrecked on an island over a span of 18ish years.
Caliban is described as a ‘mooncalf,’ a term often used to describe the aborted
fetus’ of farm animals and often thought to be caused by evil spirits. For the
point of the play the term is most likely meant to lead the producer of the
play as well as the actor playing him to see the character as deformed, ugly,
and likely crippled man of questionable spirituality. The name of this blog, if
you still hadn’t caught on, stems from the plight of the enslaved and ridiculed
disabled man as I often relate more to Caliban than the other character. I
relate to Caliban so strongly because I am also disabled, a mooncalf as the
renaissance tongue may say, and often am subject to less than pleasant
opinions.
Of course now we are not under the belief that
deformation or disability is derived from inherent evil as in the past but that
does not go to say that we are free of false beliefs and misconceptions. In
fact there are too many for me to even consider rattling them off for you here
but perhaps I will give you a few ensamples. I have what doctors call 'mild'
destonic Cerebral Palsy, or CP, that affects the upper extremities and back
more than the lower. The ‘mild’means I managed to stay out of a wheelchair
without use of a walker but I still have a variety of issues such as hand
tremors and several unseen issues such as irregular breathing rhythm and
scoliosis. Basically these issues manage to collide in just the right manner as
to make me generally sickly, pain riddled, but otherwise mostly physically
capable short of spilling every damn drink I am ever handed all over myself.
With that said here is a personal example. Once when I was about twelve or
thirteen I moved back to Tennessee and my parents proceeded to try and find a
suitable private school to enroll me in, because apparently public one were not
disable friendly…HA. Any way; while visiting with one particular principal my
mother explained my disabilities and how it was a physical one. The principal,
of the ‘best’ private school in town, requested I write my name so as he could
observe and thus be prepared for any issues. It is not what he did but how.
When asking this he first spoke to my mother, as if I was incapable of
understanding speech, but was quickly told to ask me himself. When the man did
eventually get to me he proceeded to speak so slowly and articulate so
carefully it was as if he was trying to describe the laws of special physics to
a rock. **Misconception 1: Just because I am physically disabled doesn’t mean I
am fucking stupid. Just because I can’t write in cursive doesn’t mean I need a
padded room and a drool bucket…jack ass.** Needless to say my mother was amazed
at my ability to keep from monkey hopping that douche bag’s desk and throttling
him …and I quickly started at a public school.
Example two: I once heard a religious man state
that we should take care of the mentally handicapped because they were
inherently innocent of all sin and so had a free ride to heaven. This idea make
my brain want to go skinny dipping in bacon grease then run through a dog pound
for several reasons but firstly, this idea groups together all mental
disabilities when there are a huge variety and so lends to sounding uneducated.
READ A BOOK. Secondly, this is extremely derogatory as it assumes the disabled
are incapable of mean, complex, or personal thought and only think what you or
God put in their head. This is both incorrect and insulting so I suggest any
who suffer from any similar misconceptions watch The Ringer, very funny and up lifting. Thirdly, and most bothersome
to me, is that this also sounds dangerously like a way to self gratify at the
expense of others. You may no longer be able to feel big and important or pious
by lowering blacks or woman but find yourself a ‘retard’ and you’re set.
**Misconception 2: The mentally or physically handicapped are not put on this
planet as vessels for your holiness. They have their own feeling and thoughts
so go stroke your ego elsewhere.** (For those upset by my use of the R word do
not be under the impression I condone its use, quite the opposite)
Ok so, obviously this is not a blog where all hold
hands and talk about our day over tea. Neither is this a politically correct
blog where I stick to my ‘southern belle’ roots and quietly keep to myself so
if you are looking for either of those the ‘back’ button is up to your left.
Feel free to comment!
Peace and biscuits y'all
Nest
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